Suggested Halloween costumes for Catholic kids

Catholic Home and Garden makes the following dress code recommendations for Catholic children who are planning to go trick or treating this year.

As their correspondent explains "our Catholic Faith is full of bold and fascinating saints", the distinctive looks of which can be easily creating with household items and little divinely inspired creativity.

Boys
St. Michael the Archangel: An angel gown, wings, a spear with an impaled rubber demon
St. George: Armor, a spear with an impaled dragon
St. Stephen: a simple gown with stuck on arrows signifying his martyrdom
St. Isaac Jogues - a Jesuit cassock with chewed up bloody fingers

Girls
St. Kateri Tekakwitha - A Mohawk Maiden carrying a Cross.
St. Therese of Lisieux - A little Carmelite strewing rose petals
St. Joan of Arc - A beautiful French maiden with a sword!
St. Teresa of Calcutta: A simple sari made of a white sheet with a blue and white dish towel veil

Groups
A group of boys - St. Nicholas with the three boys in a cauldron
A mixed group - Souls in Purgatory with make up to create burned and blackened skin, dressed in rags, with chains dangling from their wrists (make these from tin foil) and cellophane gift basket wrap in yellow and orange to resemble flames.

And of course, you can't go wrong with an angel.

Priests featured on Father Ted

Father Dick Byrne "As priests go... he's a really bad priest."
Father Jim Johnson
Father Cyril MacDuff
Father Noel Furlong
Father Larry Duff "Tremendous fun"
Father Fintan Stack
Father Fintan Fay
Father Billy O'Dwyer, aka The SpinMaster.
Father Paul Stone
Father Austin Purcell - "the most boring priest in the world"
Father Liam Finnegan, the famous "Dancing Priest".
Father Tiernan, Father Rafter, Father Cafferty and Father Leonard,
Father Damien "Damo" Lennon
Father "Frosty" Frost
Father Walton
Father Joe Briefly - "Himalaya Joe"
Father O'Shea
Father Cave and Father Gallagher
Father Flynn, a not totally with-it priest
Father Liam Deliverance,
Father Barty Dunne, the Laughing Priest.
Father Harry Coyle
Father Paul Cleary
Father Mackie and Father Jim Sutton
Father Hernandez
Father Seamus Fitzpatrick
Father Brian Eno
Father Kevin
Father Derek Beeching
Father Clarke
Father Jessup -the most sarcastic priest in Ireland
Father Bigley
Father Buzz Cagney
Father Nick
Father Ned Fitzmaurice
Father Nolan
Father Romeo Sensini
Father Shortall
Father Jim Duggan
Father Sweeney - "a very small bladder, about the size of a Terry's Chocolate Orange."
Father Fitzgibbon
Father Deegan
Father Williams
Father Jimmy Ranable
Father O'Rourke

A tale of two foreskins

Relics continue to play a huge role in Catholic worship around the world. But be they knuckles, hanks of hair or even livers, none is more weird that The Holy Prepuce, or Holy Foreskin, most humorous of all the relics derived from Jesus himself.

Holy Prepucae (from the Latin præputium or prepucium) hit a peak of popularity in the Middle Ages when as many as 18 foreskins of Christ could be found on display in European cities.

Perhaps the most famous of these came to prominence in the 9th century. It was claimed that it was originally owned by the Emperor Charlemagne and that it had been delivered to him by an angel (though it seems more likely that it was a wedding gift from the Byzantine Empress Irene). Despite these regal beginnings, controversy and confusion would dog the holy top piece for next 800 years.

After going missing for a few centuries, Charlemagne's foreskin re-surfaced at the Abbey of Charroux who claimed it had been presented to them by the Emperor. The Holy Prepuce of Charroux was then taken - in procession - to Rome and presented to Pope Innocent III, who promptly refused to rule on its authenticity. Two hundred year later Pope Clement VII has no such qualms when he issued a bull granting indulgences to anyone who made a pilgrimage to Charroux. At this point, the relic went missing until 1856 when it was re-discovered by a workman repairing the abbey who found its reliquary hidden inside a wall. That's when the trouble really started.

The return of the Charroux relic led to a theological clash with another foreskin, the Holy Prepuce of Calcata, which had also been attributed to Charlemagne but had been officially venerated by the Church. It was claimed that this foreskin had been given to the Pope Leo III by the Emperor but stolen by a German soldier during the Sack of Rome in 1527. The soldier was captured and imprisoned in the Italian village of Calcata where the reliquary containing the foreskin had remained.

In 1900, the Vatican suggested that the obsession with foreskin relics of any kind encouraged “irreverent curiosity”. If that wasn't clear enough they further ruled that anyone writing or speaking of the Holy Prepuce of Charroux would be excommunicated. In the more enlightened times of 1954, after much debate, this punishment was upgraded to excommunication and vitandi (to be avoided by the faithful).

Despite the ruling The Holy Prepuce of Calcata continued to be venerated in the town as recently as the 1980s on the Feast of the Circumcision. However the practice ended suddenly in 1983 after thieves stole the jewel-encrusted reliquary and the foreskin inside.

Its whereabouts are currently unknown.

Sweet tooth - Lourdes Water Mints

WHAT'S THAT? A miracle that you can suck?

From the people who brought you Lourdes Almond Pebble Candy comes Lourdes Water Mints. Each pack contains a generous handful of "wonderfully tasting mint" combined with "the benefit of being made with Lourdes water".

This divine confection is apparently "guaranteed" to have been made with the afore mentioned miraculous Lourdes water and comes in 100g, 200g and oh so satisfying 300g bags.

Saints of the silver screen

FIFTEEN HOLLYWOOD STARS who are Catholic. Usually lapsed Catholic but none the less Catholic. Don't get me started on John Travolta...

Dan "Ghostbusters" Aykroyd Nicolas Cage Jim Caviezel - who actually played Jesus which has to count for something. Robert De Niro Mel Gibson - ditto Caviezel Josh Hartnett Nicole Kidman Bill "Ghostbusters" Murray Jack Nicholson Al Pacino Susan Sarandon "The Governator" Arnold Schwarzenegger Martin Sheen Sylvester Stallone James Woods

Sweet tooth - Cross Pops

THESE DELICIOUS LONG lasting Cross pops come in four assorted fruit flavors. Cherry (Red), Lemon (Yellow), Wild Berry (Teal), and Sour Apple (Green). The holy confectionery is presented in a cute 30ct display box.

Chico puts paw to paper

A GERMAN FELINE is behind a Catholic literary first after turning its paw to writing an authorized biography of the Pope Benedict XVI. In Joseph and Chico, Chico (the cat) lovingly records the life of his "best friend" for children.

In the understatement of the century, the Pope's personal secretary, Monsignor Georg Ganswein, said in the book's foreword: "Dear Children, here you will find a biography that is different to others because it is told by a cat."

He goes on to note that: "It is not every day a cat can consider the Holy Father his friend and sit down to write his life story."

Allegedly the feline author befriended the Pope in his native Germany while he was plain Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger. However the story may not be so crazy. The Pope is known to be a cat lover who allegedly fed stray cats in Rome as a younger man and even adopted several.

However The Vatican famously does not allow animals on the premises. When asked whether Pope Benedict XVI brought his cat collection with him when he moved in, clerics had no comment.

How to drive - Catholic style

IF YOU'VE EVER tried to cross the Via Della Conciliazone during rush hour it may come as little surprise to you to discover that the Vatican has concluded that cars tend to bring out the "primitive side of human beings".

In response to the thorny issue of road rage, the Pontifical Council for the Pastoral Care of Migrants and Itinerant People has laid down an invaluable "Ten Commandments" for drivers as part of their Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road.

The document argues that good drivers "courteously give way to pedestrians, are not offended when overtaken" and - ominously - do not "seek revenge." Bad drivers tend towards "impoliteness, rude gestures, cursing, blasphemy, loss of sense of responsibility" and "deliberate infringement of the highway code."

While the guidelines were no doubt forged by dreadful experiences in the screaming multi-laned mayhem of Rome's one way system, it may be time to look at your own driving, so here's the ten:

1: You shall not kill.
2: The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.
3: Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.
4: Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.
5: Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.
6: Charitably convince the young and not-so-young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.
7: Support the families of accident victims.
8: Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.
9: On the road, protect the more-vulnerable party.
10: Feel responsible toward others.

The Council was headed by controversial cardinal, Renato Martino. Cardinal Martino said that the Vatican believed it was necessary to address the pastoral needs of motorists because driving had become such a big part of contemporary life. He went to add that while prudence forbade the use of mobile phones behind the wheel, prayer on the road was still allowed; in particular the rosary which "due to its rhythm and gentle repetition, does not distract the driver's attention."